Stubborn Puckboy

1. A Past Connection Rekindled

Seventeen years. Almost half of my life has gone by since that one season we played together. Roomed together. Since he forced me to admit to myself that what I was feeling for men wasn’t an accident or all in my head.

Unforeseen reunion. Colby Kessinger, a former top-ten draft pick whose hockey career stalled, finds himself as the new assistant video coach for the LA NHL team. His past collides with his present when he discovers that Radimir "Novi" Novicov, the Russian star player he once roomed with and secretly crushed on, is also on the team. Their last interaction, 17 years prior, ended with Novi panicking and rejecting Colby's subtle advance, leaving Colby convinced Novi was homophobic.

Lingering attraction. Despite the passage of time and their divergent paths—Colby's career shifting to coaching, Novi becoming an NHL legend—the intense, unspoken attraction between them resurfaces. Colby, now openly gay, initially fears Novi's reaction, assuming he'll be a threat to his new career. However, Novi's avoidance and subtle cues hint at a deeper, more complex truth, forcing Colby to confront the possibility that his teenage crush might not have been so unrequited after all.

Confrontation and revelation. Driven by the need to clear the air and protect his professional future, Colby orchestrates a private confrontation with Novi. To his surprise, Novi admits that his past panic stemmed not from homophobia, but from his own closeted sexuality and the overwhelming desire he felt for Colby. This revelation shatters Colby's long-held assumptions, transforming his fear into a renewed, potent attraction, setting the stage for a forbidden romance.

2. The Perilous Coach-Player Dynamic

Sleeping with a player my first year on the job? By fucking you, I fucked myself … without lube.

Forbidden boundaries. Despite their undeniable mutual attraction, Colby and Novi face a significant ethical dilemma: a coach-player relationship. Colby, new to the NHL coaching scene, understands the severe professional repercussions, including potential job loss and career damage, if their secret gets out. He attempts to set boundaries, limiting their physical interactions to stolen moments on road trips or at Novi's secluded home, but their intense connection makes adherence difficult.

High stakes, high risk. The power imbalance inherent in a coach-player dynamic makes their relationship a "walking sexual harassment case" in the eyes of management. Colby constantly grapples with the fear of discovery, knowing that even consensual intimacy could lead to his immediate termination and ruin his burgeoning NHL coaching career. This constant anxiety contrasts sharply with Novi's more reckless, yet endearing, approach to their clandestine encounters.

The irresistible pull. Despite the logical arguments against their relationship, both men find themselves unable to resist the magnetic pull. Their stolen moments are filled with passionate intimacy, deep conversations, and a profound sense of connection that neither has experienced before. Colby's internal struggle highlights the conflict between professional ambition and personal desire, as he finds himself increasingly willing to risk everything for the man he's wanted for nearly two decades.

3. Novi's Secret: A Burden of Protection

My sister is still there. In Russia? Da. I thought she would come here with the rest of my family, but she is stubborn like a fox.

A life in the shadows. Novi has spent 17 years in the NHL, a celebrated star, but living a double life. His sexuality has been a closely guarded secret, primarily due to his family remaining in Russia. He fears that if he comes out publicly, his sister, a popular TV chef, could face legal repercussions under Russia's anti-LGBTQ+ "gay propaganda" laws, even if she simply supports him without denouncing him.

The weight of responsibility. This fear of endangering his family, particularly his sister Elena, has paralyzed Novi, preventing him from living authentically. He avoids Pride jerseys, deflects questions about the LGBTQ+ community, and maintains a stoic public persona, earning him the "angry Russian" nickname. This self-imposed isolation, however, takes a toll, leaving him feeling "miserable" and yearning for the freedom to be himself.

A sister's sacrifice. Elena, aware of Novi's internal struggle, eventually makes a life-altering decision. She accepts a lucrative job offer in London, planning to move her family out of Russia. This act of love removes Novi's primary barrier to coming out, freeing him from the immense burden of protecting his family from afar. Her move becomes the catalyst for Novi's long-awaited liberation, allowing him to finally embrace his true identity.

4. The Queer Collective: A Sanctuary of Support

Us queer dudes in the NHL need to stick together.

A growing community. The "Queer Collective" is a network of openly LGBTQ+ individuals within the NHL, including players, support staff, and even a team owner. This group provides a vital support system in an industry that has historically been "uninviting" to queer individuals. Colby is invited to join, finding a sense of belonging and a safe space where he can be his authentic self without fear of judgment.

Shared experiences and understanding. The Collective members, like Oskar Voyjik and Lane (who was fired from his previous job for dating a player), understand the unique challenges faced by queer individuals in professional sports. They offer a non-judgmental environment where members can discuss their struggles, celebrate their identities, and find camaraderie. This community becomes a crucial outlet for both Colby and Novi, allowing them to navigate their complex relationship with a degree of openness.

A safe haven for Novi. For Novi, who has lived in secrecy for so long, the Collective offers an unprecedented sense of acceptance. He initially joins cautiously, but quickly finds comfort in their presence, even confiding in Ezra Palaszczuk, who becomes his "bestie." The Collective's "vow of silence" regarding Novi's sexuality provides him with a much-needed sense of security, allowing him to slowly shed his guarded exterior and embrace his true self among trusted peers.

5. Breaking Barriers: Novi's Public Step

I’m gay, bitches!

A bold declaration. Empowered by his sister Elena's decision to move from Russia, Novi makes a spontaneous and dramatic announcement to his team: "I'm gay, bitches!" This unfiltered declaration, delivered with his characteristic blend of humor and bluntness, shocks his teammates and coaches, including Colby, who is both proud and anxious about the immediate repercussions.

The rainbow stick. Prior to his verbal announcement, Novi takes a symbolic step by using rainbow tape on his hockey stick during warm-ups. This small act, encouraged by his sister, is a profound personal statement for a man who has actively avoided any association with Pride in the past. His teammates, particularly Turkey and Landers, show immediate solidarity by also taping their sticks, creating a powerful visual display of support that alleviates some of Novi's initial nervousness.

Navigating public perception. While his team's reaction is largely supportive, Novi's public coming out (even if initially only to the team) immediately draws media attention. Reporters, accustomed to his "angry Russian" persona, question his sudden shift, pushing him to explain his past resistance to LGBTQ+ allyship. Novi, still cautious, deflects with his "I don't speak English" tactic, but the moment marks a significant turning point in his journey toward full authenticity.

6. A Strategic Sacrifice for Love

I’m not asking you. I’m letting you know, out of respect, that I have feelings for Coach Kessinger. I am going to ask him out.

The ultimate choice. With Novi's coming out, the coach-player dynamic becomes an untenable risk for Colby's career. Recognizing this, Novi takes decisive action. He approaches Coach Whelan and the team's management, openly declaring his feelings for Colby and stating his intention to pursue a relationship. He presents them with an ultimatum: either they fire him (which would be costly due to his contract and public optics) or they trade him.

A calculated move. Novi, ever the strategist, proposes a trade to his original team, Anaheim. This move serves multiple purposes: it allows him to finish his career where it began, provides a plausible media narrative for his departure, and, crucially, removes the direct coach-player conflict with Colby. He leverages his star status and the team's need for assets, offering himself in exchange for a backup goalie, a fourth-line forward, and a second-round draft pick.

Prioritizing their future. This bold sacrifice underscores Novi's deep commitment to Colby and their relationship. He willingly gives up his current team and the comfort of his established life in LA to ensure Colby's career is protected and their love can flourish without constant fear of exposure. The trade, though bittersweet for Novi, is a testament to his newfound courage and his determination to build a life with Colby, even if it means leaving behind a significant part of his hockey legacy.

7. Building a Future, Together

My heart will always be with LA. As long as Colby is.

A new chapter begins. With Novi traded to Anaheim, the immediate threat to Colby's career is mitigated. They can now openly date, hold hands in public, and be seen together without the same level of paranoia. The physical distance between their teams means less daily interaction, but the freedom to be authentic in their relationship outweighs the inconvenience. Their bond deepens, moving beyond stolen moments to a shared future.

Unwavering commitment. Colby, initially hesitant due to career fears, fully embraces their relationship, recognizing that Novi is worth any potential risk. He acknowledges his profound love for Novi, a feeling that transcends his professional ambitions. Novi, in turn, cherishes Colby, seeing him as his "whole world" and the catalyst for his newfound happiness and authenticity. Their journey, marked by challenges and sacrifices, solidifies their commitment to each other.

Dreams realized. Their story culminates in the promise of a future where both men can live fully and openly. Novi envisions a life with Colby, raising children, and continuing to inspire others as an out role model. Colby, while still pursuing his coaching dreams, finds that his ultimate happiness lies with Novi. Their relationship, once a secret burden, transforms into a source of immense joy and strength, proving that love, even when forbidden, can pave the way for a truly fulfilling life.

Last updated: August 21, 2025